What’s a good first message on a dating app?
Something about her profile she can answer in four words. Specific beats clever every time.
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Opener
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- More than “hey”
- Easy to answer
- Something specific
- Kept it short
- Stayed off her looks
- One question, not a form
- No apology
- Not something she’s had fifty times
One that gets an A
Two truths and a lie: I’ve been to Iceland, I can juggle, I hate brunch
Nobody hates brunch. Brunch is the lie, and you can juggle but only badly
First messages
Is “hey” a bad opener?
It’s not bad, it’s nothing. She has to do all the work, and most won’t.
Should I compliment her in the first message?
Not her looks. Compliment a choice she made: a prompt answer, a place, a dog’s name.
Do pickup lines work on dating apps?
She’s read them all. A line tells her you send it to everyone.
Openers are lesson one. The rest is the game.
Short lessons, thirty-second drills, and practice chats with characters who leave like real people.